Theme and Variation
by Chalcedon
Summary: **Formerly titled "Hope". A series of angsty one-shots. H/C.
1. Theme & Variation I: Hope

Title: Hope  
  
Author: Red Light District  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Feedback: Yes please!!!  
  
Summary: A strange, little reunion between Kohaku and Chihiro. H/C angst.  
  
Author's Notes: This is the product of watching Spirited Away about 10 times in half as many days and too much depressing music. I'm not completely satisfied with this so I might revise it later on. Also, I haven't read very much SA fanfiction other than Zefyr's story *bows down and genuflects* so I apologize if I've inadvertently stolen something.   
  
~ ~ ~  
  
He should have known. It would have been too good to be true. After all, he'd heard the stories... he'd known the rules. Humans cannot leave the spirit realm with any knowledge of it. So she would return to the dubious safety of humanity and remember him as nothing more than a dream-if that.   
  
But he had hoped.  
  
It had been that painful hope which compelled him to end his apprenticeship to Yubaba and follow Chihiro to the human realm. By the time he got out, a few years had passed in her world and he still had to find her...  
  
Once more his hope and faith in their love sustained him. He would find her and despite all odds she would remember him, then they could live happily ever after.... That had been his dearest wish and third mistake. Damn him for a fool.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
It had been about three human years since he'd last seen her when his relentless search had finally paid off. He had found his Chihiro, and he'd spent the past few days following her because he was too afraid to approach. He'd wanted to see the life she'd created or herself... her life without him.  
  
One day on her way to school he trailed after her and tried to muster the courage to speak to her. As he alternately prayed for a chance or for her memories to remain intact, he took the opportunity to observe her unnoticed.  
  
She was so carefree; he could see it in the way she practically skipped to school. In time she would grow into a conficdent, lovely woman. Then, almost as if some kind spirit had heard his plea she dropped some of her school papers.  
  
"Oh!" she gasped and she whirled about to collect them only to find a young man already holding out her homework in a neat stack.  
  
"Thank you very much. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost any of that!"  
  
"You're quite welcome then," he smiled. "After all I wouldn't want you getting into trouble."  
  
She blushed slightly. "Well, thank you again... I'm sorry... I don't even know your name. Where do you go to school? I haven't seen you around here before."  
  
"My name is Kohaku... and I'm just visiting."  
  
"Oh! I used to live near a river with the same name. How odd-I mean..." she trailed off awkwardly.  
  
"That's alright," he said smoothly. "I know my name is a bit odd."  
  
"No, it's not that odd," she protested. "In fact, it's a very nice name."  
  
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth before he answered, "Thank you."  
  
Chihiro blushed again and glanced at her watch before murmuring, "I should probably go now..."  
  
"Of course. I apologize for detaining you. I wouldn't want you to be late."  
  
"No, no don't worry about it. Thanks again and it was nice to meet you Kohaku!"  
  
He sighed gently as he watched her race away without a second look-just like the last time.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Now he knew for certain that it was true. She would live her life on Earth remembering nothing of her time with him. And why should she? What were a few days in the spirit realms compared to a lifetime here? It was irrelevant that those days with her had saved a homeless river god from death or worse... He had spent the last three years without her needing her, wishing for her sweetness to be a balm to his lonely soul, and now that he had found her it was useless. Her memories had been wiped clean. Yes, those days meant nothing to her now... and he would keep it that way.  
  
---  
  
The End?  
  
I'm not sure if I should continue this or not.... I mean... it's just so nice and angst-filled as it is. It made a fairly decent one-shot (only in my world). As always, please review. 


	2. Theme & Variation II: A Wedding Story

Disclaimer: I am not Miyazaki Hayao, Disney, or Studio Ghibli. I don't think I want to be either except then I would own Haku and Chihiro... especially Haku....  
  
Title: Theme and Variation II: A Wedding Story  
  
Series: Theme and Variation  
  
Author: Red Light District  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: Haku is too late. H/C angst.  
  
Author's Notes: Wow! I haven't written this much in ages! It seems like Spirited Away has truly inspired me. I haven't written fanfiction or anything in so long that I was beginning to think I'd forgotten how... I hope you enjoy the story and that you don't overload on angst. -_-;  
  
About this story though... several of you have reviewed "Hope" and expressed an interest in me continuing the story... I'm sorry that it's not going to happen. This is a series, but the only common point is the theme. These are a collection of scenarios in which they don't live happily ever after.  
  
I know the title kind of... sucks. I couldn't think of anything! -_-; Please tell me if you have a suggestion.  
  
*these are thoughts*  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
It came as a complete shock to her to see him standing at her doorstep, in the dying light, holding a carefully wrapped box and little else. What else could she do but let him when he'd come so far? He was just placing the box on top of his bag before she'd regained her powers of speech.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she blurted out.  
  
He didn't pause in his actions and he carefully slid off his shoes and lined them up with all the others as though the fate of the world rested on the straightness of that line. Finally, he turned and looked at her with the same eyes that had haunted her dreams and spoke, "I came to see you, Chihiro."  
  
It wasn't fair that he could do that to her. The way his voice seemed to caress her name turned her back into that schoolgirl that had pined endlessly for him. She was a strong, independent young woman. She didn't need silly dreams of dragons or spirits or soulmates anymore. She didn't need him now after so many years.  
  
"Why now?" she asked angrily. "Why did you decide to finally keep your damn promise?"  
  
By the expression on his face she could tell that she'd shocked him. He had no idea why she was so angry when she'd welcomed him into her home just a few minutes ago. Giving voice to his confusion he said, "I wanted to see you again... I didn't mean to take so long, but you know that time passes differently here. I would have come sooner if I could have."  
  
"Damn you, Kohaku." she sighed. *Why can't anything be easy?* "Why?" she repeated.  
  
He simply looked at her with that familiar warmth. She tore her eyes from his before he could see the tears. *I'm too old for this. I"m not in love with him anymore! I'm not!*   
  
"You know why I'm here, Chihiro. I don't break my promises."  
  
She smiled then, and she almost meant it. "No, you don't do you?" *But I do...*  
  
He knew that something had had gone wrong, but he still had no idea what it was or how to fix it. Bravely, he continued, "I'm here to find the girl I knew. To see if she is still what I remember." He caught her hand and paused.  
  
Outwardly, she was as calm as ever, but she'd been thrown into a maelstrom of emotion the moment he'd touched her. *Please don't say it. Not now.. not like this. Damn you, don't say it...*  
  
"I knew a girl that saved me with the purity of her love. I'm here because I want to be with the woman that girl grew into... because I love you."  
  
Chihiro closed her eyes in defeat and gently disentangled her hand from his grasp. She looked him calmly in the eye and said, "You're too late."  
  
He looked back at first in shock, anger, heartbreak, and finally resignation. "Why?"  
  
*He sounds like a lost, little boy...*  
  
"It's been over fifteen years for me, Kohaku. I don't know how long it was for you, but that was a long time to wait with no word."  
  
"I see." It was amazing how much emotion could be conveyed in those two words.  
  
"I-I got over you. I recovered. I met somebody who makes me happy and... we're engaged."  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
"That's none of your business," she cried. "But yes! I do! I-" her voice caught, "I-I don't know..." she finished in a harsh whisper. "Is that what you wanted? To know that even now, after all these years I still love you most. That I could never live a normal life because of you! That all men would be measured against you and found lacking!" her voice had risen steadily throughout her tirade until she was shouting at him. "Well," she snarled as she stepped forward. "what do you have to say? You come into my house and tell me that you love me when I'm engaged! Say something damn you!"  
  
"I love you, Chihiro."  
  
Her hand flew out before she could think and she screamed, "No, you don't!" She flung herself at him and startled him enough to tackle him to the floor. Once there he easily dodged her frantic blows as she sobbed and said that she hated him. Finally, when she'd exhausted herself physically and emotionally he gathered her in his arms and rocked her like a child.  
  
"I do love you, Chihiro. Whether or not you believe me and... for what it's worth... I'm sorry I was late."  
  
She continued to lie still in his arms with her eyes closed. When she began to speak he had to lean closer to catch her words. "I was very young when me met, but I did love you then."  
  
"And now?"  
  
She sighed, "And now? Now it doesn't matter..."  
  
"Humor me," he said flatly.  
  
Inwardly she winced at his tone, but she persisted. "Kohaku, I'm about to be married... please, don't make me do this. Don't make this any harder for us."  
  
"Chihiro, just tell me!"  
  
Her eyes flew open at the desperation in his tone, but he wasn't finished yet. "I lay my hear bare before you. I tell you that I love you still, but all you can say is stop and you hate me... You attack me for telling you that I love you," he whispered his anguish nearly choking him. "So tell me, Chihiro. I deserve to know whether you hate me, love me, or don't care."  
  
She waited until he was looking down in her eyes before speaking, "I love you, Kohaku, and I'm sorry, too... I'm sorry that I didn't wait."  
  
Suddenly without warning he pulled her up face to face wth him and he looked at her fiercely. Then he nodded like he'd received an answer to some question and kissed her. This was no sweet, gentle kiss between new lovers. It was rough and passionate; it was their first, last, and only kiss. The kiss they didn't share after she'd given him back his name. He weas putting all his love, anger, and pain in this kiss. She took it all into herself and let him feel the love she bore for him and the fact that this was goodbye.  
  
*There, I've given him everything now... I have nothing left of me to give.*  
  
His eyes were no less fierce when he lifted his head from hers, but there was a suspiscious brightness in them.  
  
Flushed and breathless, it was Chihiro who broke the silence, "You should probably go now."  
  
He nodded slowly, "You're right," he said quietly. His fingers brushed across her forehead and he murmured, "Sleep now, Chihiro. It will look better in the morning."  
  
*Cheater...*  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
When Chihiro awoke, it was in her own bed in her pajamas. Her clock said that it was already past ten a.m.  
  
"Was it all a dream?*  
  
Slowly she got up and shuffled to the bathroom while rubbing at her gritty eyes. Casually she flicked the lights on and took in her appearance. Tangled hair and red, puffy eyes. So perhaps it hadn't been a dream.  
  
After washing her face-and especially eyes-she felt more prepared to face the day. She went to the kitchen and stopped short at the small box and the note lying on her table. She picked up the note written in what could only be her Kohaku's exquisitely archaic calligraphy.  
  
Chihiro,  
  
Perhaps I am a coward for putting you to sleep only to flee, but I could not bear to be with you any longer. Though it pains me greatly, I admit that I understand. You made a commitment-a promise-and I will not force you to break it. We had barely acknowledged the love we shared when you left and I made you wait so long... It would be wrong of me to make you feel guilty for this when it wasn't your fault. Again, I apologize for coming so late. Perhaps Fate will not always be against us. If you should every need me just call me.  
  
Kohaku.  
  
Chihiro folded the note back and gently placed it back on top of the impeccably wrapped box. Then she cried.  
  
---  
  
The End  
  
Next Installment: Theme and Variation III: One Last Goodbye or Forgotten Hope  
  
My that was fun! Yes, I am sick and generally twisted. Please tell me what you thought of it. If you've read any of my LotR fiction, then you'll notice that this particular one-shot bears some resemblance to The Two Tragedies Series. Was it intentional? Not really. I just had this particular scenario stuck in my head. After I'd watched Spirited Away I had several rabid plot bunnies attack me, and this was one of them. Consider this a challenge! If my wedding story inspired you, then write your own take on it? Would Kohaku let her go? Would Chihiro still be as angry? I'd love to know what you think they'd do in this situation.  
  
Theme and Variation III is over half-written already. It should be out this week or early next week... It's infinitely darker than this so if you like a sweet, innocent Chihiro and uber-noble Haku, then you may want to avoid it. 


End file.
